Where, Oh Where Did January Go?

The month of January marked the beginning of Lukas' 6th year, meaning he's now - and this is hard to write - FIVE!!! Where has the time gone? Where's the baby who flat-out-refused to take any form of bottle - who hated car rides - who smiled nonstop and insisted that someone lay down with him in order for him to go to sleep? (Okay, these last two are still pretty prevalent, which we love).

As usual, the lucky duck had several parties -- one in Kindergarten featuring a pirate-ship cake (made by Tobi and I the night before), one at home with family featuring self-made sushi (his choice for dinner!), and one at the Tucherland kids paradise (in Nuremberg) with friends.

He's definitely growing up quickly, quite literally, at a whopping 112 cm, or 3' 8". Within the past half year of his regularly attending Kindergarten, his mastery of German has overtaken his once perfect english. And he's a lovey, sensitive boy. We adore that about him. When I tell him that what he's said may have hurt someone's feelings, he really takes it to heart. He loves to help his little "baby" brother whenever he can. He hugs and he kisses a ton, especially at the dinner table  in an effort to avoid eating his meal. And he is (still) a big cuddler at bedtime. 

Alex, is the opposite. While he can be cuddly, at heart he's a little firecracker. He needs sparks. While older brother Lukas hates anything loud, Alexander is capable of making an insane amount of noise. And while Lukas loves TV (which we have to limit to 1 hour a day), Alex can't sit still for more than 10 minutes. Yin and yang. When they're not provoking eachother, they create the perfect balance in our little family. Which is, incidentally, about to get larger...

Now in the 12th week of my third pregnancy, I told Lukas a few days ago that I had a baby growing in my belly. Since we were on our way to visit my in-laws, I asked that he let me tell them. Only my mother-in-law was home, and while she handled the news quite well (having three children in Germany is considered by some to be a sure sign of insanity), I wasn't quite sure how I would relay the message to my father-in-law. Lukas solved the problem by running up to greet him when he arrived, and blurting out, "Mama hat ein neue Baby in Ihr Bauch!" (Or "Mama has a new baby in her belly!"). Kids. :)

The new baby will be here at the end of August, meaning this Christmas will be an exciting one for a number of reasons (three, to be exact)! Prior to August we have a room upstairs to get in order, tons of boxes downstairs to sort through, a insanely full garage to organize, and a new (and very fun!) bunk bed set that we want to buy and put together. In the meantime, Tobi is working to finish his masters degree in the evenings and on weekends, and I'm planning a big trip to the U.S. for the April/May timeframe. Never a dull moment!

In our latest adventures, the kids and I just returned from a weekend in The Netherlands. Yes, it's 650 kilometers, and yes, it takes us an average of 7 hours to get there, but it was so worth it! Since we don't do the trip often now, I was afraid it was going to be a terrible commute. It wasn't! Other than Lukas now asking "Are we there yet?" every 20-30 minutes, they were the perfect little travelers (though I was admittedly armed with Ipods, snacks, drinks, and Dutch childrens' music). We were there from Friday evening to Monday morning, and the kids felt right at home. Other than Lukas' unfortunate loss of the Dutch language, it was as if we had never left. It was very cute to see them connect with their self-adopted Dutch Oma and Opa, their old friends, the farmhouse that we once called home (along with the pot-bellied pig, chickens, and horses), and tiny village of Oudelande.  

So now your caught up on our little "wandering family". We're still wandering, but just a little bit less, which means that the children have friends, relationships, and commitments. They're learning to swim (Lukas just completed two laps in the pool without any help last month!), ride bicycles & scooters, and do (simple) gymnastics. I think we're close to discovering our perfect balance. But hey, if you have the time, I'd sure love to hear about yours!    

Safe & Happy Travels,
~Liz

I'm Tucking You In -- For the Last Time This Year!

New Year's Eve has always been a bit special for Tobi and I. With the kids sleeping soundly in their (correction, our) bed, I have time to reflect on our many celebrations - in various corners of the world.

Thinking back, there was our first New Year's together, which we spent at the Berlin Philharmonic back in 1999, the dramatic fireworks display in the Rocky Mountains during our honeymoon trip to Ouray (Colorado), an odd "Silvester" Celebration - at a spa in Bad Griesbach - on the heels of a traumatic Christmas-time miscarriage, and a New Year's in Sydney -- overlooking the stunning Sydney Harbor. And then came the children. Though we've modified our New Year's celebrations a bit, we still try to make a bit of an event out of it. From enjoying a traditional "braai" and watching fireworks go up over the Seal Island in South Africa's Mossel Bay, to celebrating with friends in nearby Heroldsberg, and partying Dutch-style in the tiny Zeelandic town of Oudelande, it just seems to keep getting better.

Tonight we kept it simple for the first time in ages. We celebrated with my sister, eating traditional German New Year's "Raclette" (okay, it's actually Swiss, but the Germans have adopted it as their own), then headed out into the street to set off our own fireworks. Some neighborhood friends came by with their kids and while Lukas covered his ears for the first few explosions, Alexander laughed loudly like an evil scientist plotting to take over the world. :) Truth be told, he's been doing that hearty laugh now for a few days and we just can't get enough of it.

And since we're on the topic of Alex, it's worth mentioning that - lately - he's been dead-set on two of everything. Two chocolates, two donuts, two drinks at breakfast time. Why? He gets great pleasure in being able to present his big brother with something he knows Lukas will like. How cute is that?

After the fireworks we let the boys play a bit, then brought the little guys to bed. By this point, Lukas was slightly hysterical, and Tobi leaned over and told him that there was one last thing that had to be taken care of... and it was kisses on the belly for the last time this year! So cute. Then I did it to Alex, and Alex insisted on blowing loudly on my tummy before he went to sleep.

As I sit here in my PJs, catching up on blog entries and enjoying chocolate ice cream from a local farm, I don't miss the glamo
rous New Year's celebrations of yore. Life is good, and we have much to be thankful for in 2010. What surprises will 2011 hold?

But wait, I can already reveal the first surprise! It was a neighborhood block party at the strike of midnight, where we had the rare opportunity to talk with neighbors in the snow, our champagne bottles chilling in the snow banks at our sides. Germans love their fireworks and they set them off with zeal at year's end, and what a show can be, even in the smallest of villages.

So this spontaneous New Year's adventure ended on an unexpectedly fun note. Sometimes not planning is the key to having a memorable journey... near or far. Happy 2011 to you and yours!

~Liz

Please stop growing up, baby!

Lukas will be five next month, and it is obvious in more ways than one. This past week, he began doing "big boy" things, without so much as an afterthought (as if he's been capable all along, and just realized it). And, though I'm undoubtedly proud, in some strange way it is breaking my heart.

Here's how the week unfolded.

- The apple incident
The other day as I was sitting on the couch, Lukas brought over this finished "apple". He had drawn it, colored it, and cut it out without any help whatsoever. As I praised him, tears began to stream down my face, which made him laugh (somewhat uncomfortably). Tobi's comment? "Man muss nicht alles in diese Welt verstehen." (We can't understand everything in this world... i.e. why someone would start crying when presented with a picture of an apple). Lukas certainly isn't a toddler anymore. He's a (very capable) little boy!

- The walk to school
On Tuesday Alexander and I were both sick, and - not wanting to expose Alexander to the cold - I called a friend (who also walks her daughter to Kindergarten), and asked her if she could watch for Lukas, then walk him the rest of the way to school. As soon as Lukas heard me on the phone, he jumped up, ran upstairs, and dressed himself, excited about this new adventure. He did a fabulous job walking himself (part of the way) to school, and - this time - I was able to reign in the emotions.

- Sounding out, then writing "Alex" (without any help!)
Lukas has been able to write his own name now for about a week (without any help), but I couldn't believe my eyes when - one night at the dinner table - I looked over and saw the letters "A-L-E" already written on paper, at which point he began mouthing the letter "X", then writing it without any real hesitation. I feigned frustration, saying, "This is ridiculous!" and Lukas just laughed and laughed, so proud of what he had accomplished.


- When at first you don't succeed...
For months Lukas has been determined to whistle, and Tobi's mother told him that it would probably be years until he finally could. But that tenacious little man never gave up. Every day he practiced blowing air, and then on Thursday evening, he proudly announced that he really could whistle! In Lukas' case it was a matter of weeks, not years. Why does that come as no surprise? 

In the meantime, it's becoming equally obvious that Alexander is not a baby anymore. Here's why:
-He has to do EVERYTHING himself "Alex do IT!"
-He loves to sing, and some of words in the songs are starting to become discernible
-He can throw and kick a ball like some children triple his age (possibly even better than Lukas).

Though Alexander is crazy about his brother and loves for him to hold his hand as he walks down the stairs or give him a kiss when they say goodbye at school, it's also obvious that he needs his one-on-one time with Mama and Papa. When he doesn't get it, Alexander can be a real handful, and when he does, he's the easiest toddler on the planet. At least we've figured out the formula. :) Now if only we could find the secret variable that keeps babies from growing up...

No Baby, Don't You Sing!!!

Mommies cry. The simplest thing can get us started. A perfect example?
At naptime today, as I sang Alexander "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star", he sang the first few words with, adding proudly, "Alexander sing it!" And oh how he loves my reaction when he sings. The smile on my face, the tears in my eyes... he soaks it all up. But as his vocabulary increases exponentially and he soaks up the words of multiple languages like a little sponge, I find myself dreading the day that he'll speak as perfectly as his big brother. Every day marks a change in his language skills. What was once "Du-das" is now sounding more and more like "Lukas". I believe the South Africans say it best with the word, "Shame!". Our equivalent? Too bad. And it really is.

I - we - should probably be proud. Our baby's growing up. With the first one, nothing could happen fast enough. The first words, the first steps, the potty training. Now I find myself longing for him to stay a baby for as long as possible. So Alexander, if you find yourself reading this someday in the distant future, you now know why I had you in diapers until you were 8. :)

Love,
Your "Bobby"

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About a German "Kindergarten" (In the Country)

(I don't usually like to post identical postings on our travel and family blogs, but I felt that this one was worth sharing on both!)

Kids really are like silly putty (remember that stuff? Does it still exist?). They adapt so darned quickly to any given environment.

 

In the Netherlands our little ones spoke Dutch and proudly wore their little wooden clogs (on occasion). In Dubai, they inquired about certain words in Arabic, the tiny carpets seen in certain corners of some shopping centers, and the practice of praying to mecca. But here in Germany, they're adapting SO quickly, that I find myself learning from then, singing songs like, "Was müssen das für Bäume sein, wo - die - GROße Elefanten spazieren gehen, ohne sich zu Stooooßen" (or in English, "What kind of trees must they be, where the BIII-IIIG elephants go wa-al-king, without bumping intoooo eachother"... sure sounds cuter in German!).

 

Alex loves to sing Lukas' songs, but doesn't know all the words. This morning he sang his version of Lukas' Elefant song, "La-la-la-la la-la-la-la? la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la la-la-la-la, la-la-la ZU STOSSEN!" And yesterday Alexander (whose language seems to be coming a bit slower than his older brother's at that age), sang another song, emphasizing the word "wunderschön" -- a fairly long word to hear coming out of a two year old's mouth.

 

And I'm finally happy with our Kindergarten (kindly translated by Lukas just a few weeks back into "Children's Garden" for his American Granny's sake), which is huge! A half year ago, I was worried about the quality of learning provided to the children here in our tiny village (which I thought was virtually non-existent). Meanwhile, Lukas has begun coloring inside of the lines (or at least attempting to), singing new songs ever week (which he really retains, and loves to share with us!), and will occasionally even correct my German.

 

Plus, the "field trips" are great. Seriously! What fun it is to be a kid in this village, with things like:

• A couple weeks back we went to the other side of the village for a huge potato fire. This was done on a field where most of the potatoes had already been harvested. The kids were instructed to pick up the remaining potatoes, throw them in a bonfire, wait for the fire to go out (while waiting they sang a few songs), and let the potatoes cool, with the big payoff being the lunch-time potato feast.  
• Then there was the Thanksgiving outing to the Catholic church. The kids trecked through the town (a 5 minute walk) to the Catholic church. Once inside they inspected the cute little Thanksgiving displays (a "rainbow" of fresh vegetables placed at the altar... which brought to mind pre-Christian and Eastern religions involving sacrifice), talked about how important God was to the harvests (ehem, no seperation of church and state here - I imagine this is slightly awkward for the two-or-so muslim children in the Kindergarten), and sang a song about God and the harvest. Back at school they took the little baskets full of fresh fruits and veggies (prepared lovingly by Mama & Papa - preferrably with fruits and veggies from one's own garden) and played games, danced, and sang for the remainder of the morning. Still not impressed? They took turns chopping the veggies the following day (even the toddlers!), making a delicious soup for all to enjoy. The kids were delighted with themselves!
• And, most recently, they headed from the Kindergarten down to the end of our street, where they got to learn all about horses. Our neighbor, the horse owner, explained the nuances of horse body-language, what they eat, what they pooh, and how they age. Of course, all of this was followed by songs and horse-play (literally, they role-played horses!) in the fields behind the horses.

So, needless to say, it's quite alright. Okay, it's more than alright! This winter they'll be participating in a St. Martin lamp procession, going sledding, and more. And in the meantime, I've been nominated to the Parent's Board (or "Elternbeirat"). I didn't write my name on the list (thinking I may just watch and focus on getting adjusted this year), but I ended up getting the most votes (what a surprise, the foreigner with the imperfect German!), and am more than happy to help out.

 

And as for learning, well, I asked Lukas to color on the inside pages of a couple photo albums that we recently created. Surprised at how well he suddenly seemed to be coloring, I complimented him. His response was in German, and he said something to the effect of, "Ja Mama, ich strenge mich jetzt an beim malen! Vorher habe ich mich halt nicht angestrengt, aber jetzt weiss ich dass ich mich ein bisschen anstrengen müß!" -- Rough translation: "Wellll Mom, I'm concentrating now! Before I didn't, but now I know that I have to apply myself!" How cute is that?!?

 

I'm just so proud of them, and I know that Tobi must feel the same. There are still plenty of fights throughout the day, but they're also so affectionate towards one another. There's always a kiss and a hug involved if one of them has to go somewhere. And, last night, Lukas smothered his little brother with kisses at bathtime (which is significant when you consider that this is the time of day when they usually end up inciting eachother to splash, fight, hit, and cry). Alexander's reaction? He feigned disgust, "trying" wildly to keep Lukas at arms' length, his sternest face giving way to laughter.

 

Yes, being in one place and finally having Papa back really seems to be helping the kids. There's more one-on-one parent time for each child, and they finally know what to expect each day. Life has become predictable for our little nomads. Staying put may be challenging for Mama, but if it's good for them, I'll find a way to make it work for me. Because, at the end of each day I have the same recurring thought, they're so worth it.

 

Letting Go of the Extraordinary

When life is at it's most challenging, it seems that time goes by dreadfully slow, and yet, once it's passed, you wonder where it went.

At least, I find that to be the case for our life over the past half year. Recently, a friend who was visiting implied that I take too much for granted. She engaged me in a game, the purpose of which was to encourage me to find pleasure in the little things... on a daily basis. It was a hard game for me, and it took me a while to catch on. She'd say something revealing about herself - something "crazy" she's done in the past, and I'd respond with something far more off the wall. But she wasn't looking for tales of getting stuck at a cattle ranch in the middle of Australia, or a horse-back safari in South Africa. It was my "Sometimes I like to decorate the table with roses from my garden." that won her praise. Finally, I had caught on. She went on to say that I should enjoy the age that the boys are at now -- that I should savor it.

Is it possible to do this as a single-parent? Now, I realize that according to some people's definition of single-parenting, I may not classify. Yes, I'm currently a stay-at-home-mom. But let me tell you.... working single-parents have time for themselves. Even if it's just that drive-time in the mornings or evenings. It's all theirs. And they have adults to interact with on a daily basis (do not underestimate that contact with the outside world)!

Let me cut to the chase. I've been a mother for four and a half years now. Up until this six-month period of Tobi being away, I always did a fantastic job enjoying the stages that the boys were at. I was always the first to admit that they grow up too darned fast. But when it all lies on you - when you're forced to be sensible and responsible around the clock - positive reinforcement morphs into reactive discipline. And for the first time in my life I've considered going to work as a means of escaping parenthood. I hate that. And I hate that I've barely written about Alexander's development for this phase of his life. I should be writing about how he takes pride in helping my "clean" things with a wet wipe, smothers those close to him with affection (including Felix), makes Lukas and Tobi hysterical by licking them on the cheek, and absolutely adores getting read to. He certainly is a charmer.

Yes, our kids will survive. They won't be scarred for life. But I can't help but wonder, what if things were different? How is my current style of parenting affecting the formation of their little personalities?

Which brings me to my next point: what I love. As children get older - their little personalities unfold before your eyes, like the wings of a butterfly as it exits its cacoon. Some of it is nurture, but much of it is inherited.

And admittedly, today was an exceptional day. Actually the past couple days have been. To begin with, I reclaimed Friday night for myself, joining a friend for a movie. Then I took a bath. And in the morning, I said "To hell with responsible. The mess can wait." I took the dog for a walk through the forest. I went for a pedicure. Then I picked the kids up from my in-laws' and spent the rest of the day splashing around with them at an indoor pool-complex. I guess, somewhere in the back of my head I was living life as if it were my last day.

Again, today we went for a long walk with the dog. That's when I noticed that our neighborhood horses (which were ordered to relocate), were back again. Temporary or not -- the kids and I were ecstatic!

It wasn't long before Alex decided to straggle behind. Far, far behind. My usual reaction would have been to stomp over to him, pick him up grumpily, and buckle him into his stroller -- willing or not. Instead, I squeezed into his stroller and took a deep breath, and the most amazing thing happened. Hundreds of wild flowers appeared in the foreground, that I hadn't noticed before. Why? Because previously I was too preoccupied with my own personal drama to notice the wildflowers, rolling hills, and distant church steeples.

How wonderful that I made a conscious decision to change my behavior. I sat there and waited for Alexander, and what a lovely few minutes it became. That stress can so easily be replaced by pleasure, based solely on my reaction to certain events, is simply incredible!

Yes, I seemed to have my "live in the moment" glasses on today. How else would I have known to cherish Lukas' remark to the dog's typical territory-marking-routine? Lukas chuckled as Felix shoveled some dirt over his "marking", adding, "What was that? A special doggy dance?!?" And the cutest part was that he seemed quite impressed with his sense of wit. As was I. :)

Best of all, Lukas picked up on my positive attitude today. He traded in his complaints for the opportunity to walk the dog like a big boy. Who'd of thought that something that simple could be such a treat?

Which, of course, brings us full-circle. My hope is that we as a family can learn to cherish the simple things. Extraordinary moments just seem to cloud our vision sometimes. Yes, we had them. But they're gone. It's time to let go and enjoy where we're at right now. Because this very moment could well become an extraordinary one, if we choose to let it.

On Terrible Twos... and Stopping Wars

We've been in Dubai (and Nepal - see blog entry here) now for almost a month and, while being here is fun, it throws us out of our routine, making it difficult to find time to write.

The good news is, we're headed back to Germany today, and while packing up I came across this note that I made at the beginning of our month here (around mid June), on something that Lukas said. It's one of those things that you want to remember forever, and here it is:

Mama, I have to stop people from working in wars. I just have to sign these [invisible] papers, then I go on a helicopter and the helicopter lowers me down with a rope to show every war guy not to put wars on... so people don't get shot. 'Cause I'm the boss and because shooting's not good.

Alex has also begun talking a lot (using 3-4 word phrases regularly like "Mama-do-it" - oh, and we loved his recent use of the word "money"!), but as far as the "terrible twos" go, it's certainly all or nothing with him. To say he's a handful is an understatement. Nevertheless, at the end of ever day, when I lie there in bed with him... no tantrum is too great for Mama-love.

And on that note, I better finish up packing for our journey back to Germany. I hope to find more time for blogging once we're there!
~Liz