Baby Grows Teeth, Big Brother Learns to Read

Blogs are like photos. They capture precious moments in time that might otherwise be lost. A child's life is full of incredible firsts: first teeth, first words, first steps, first time reading... but even the most priceless of snapshots get lost in the mile-high pile of photos that we call life.

And that's why I love our blog. Now if only I could get better at writing in it consistently!

Ow! These things hurt!!!

Since my last posting, Emma got her first teeth. The two bottom teeth came in tandem, and I first felt them break the skin on a Friday morning -- February 3rd to be exact. She was just under 5 months old when it happened and - considering I'm still breast feeding - it was a rather unwelcome surprise. No, she's not crawling yet, sitting on her own, or talking. But for those things she has plenty of time. Since she's definitely our last "baby", we're in no hurry for her to grow up! Finally I get that it's not a competition, and that she's not going to become the first female president of the United States just because she spoke one month earlier than most babies. :) OH! But she has started rolling on her own. I guess that's supposed to be a big miletone in baby developments. And on her 6-month-birthday (March 6th), we began a Mama-Baby class known here in Germany as "Pekip" (Prague-Eltern-Kind-Program... or something like that). It's all about stimulating the senses of the little ones through touch, sight, sound, etc. Emma loves interacting with the other babies! Lastly, at the end of Feburary Emma had her first ride on Mama's bike... it was on the first warm afternoon of the year (relatively speaking) - February 22nd! :)

Lukas' First Reading Adventure!

Emma's older brothers, who of course adore her, are in important developmental phases of their own. Though he still has a sweet lisp, Alex's stuttering went away on its own, and he's making a big effort to speak more English with Mama. Our oldest, Lukas, recently picked up a book and began to read. It happened on a Saturday morning. He got up at an ungodly hour (around 5:30 am), and I told him that - if we go downstairs - we won't be watching TV. Which, in turn, inspired him to pick up a learn-to-read book and start reading! He sounded out one word at a time, asking for help occasionally and - before I knew it - he had completed two pages! It was one of my proudest moments as a Mama, and I can say with great certainty that time is going by WAY too fast!

Alex - exhausted after February "Fasching" celebrations

So congratulations to each of our three kiddos for their latest achievements! Emma, for her teeth - Alex, for his speech (in Alex's words, "Ich bin schon groß gewachsen!", or "I've already grown big!") - and Lukas, for his reading!

Hey, Baby Girl!

Precisely three weeks have passed since our latest addition, a precious baby girl, was born. Emma Sophia Kraft was born on September 6th at 6:22 pm; a healthy 9 pounds, 3 ounces. Emma was born in the Erlangen Frauenklinik, here in Germany, seven days after her official "due" date.

How did it go? Well, let me start by saying that, because each of our children has been born in a different country, we've had to learn as much as we can about the birth process time and time again -- once in America, once in The Netherlands, and finally - in Germany.

And just what are the differences? In a nutshell, American hospitals tend to hand out epidurals (or in Germany, "PDAs") on a silver platter. As a result, the average hospital stay is 2-3 days (they can't possibly send you home on the same day if you've had an epidural). And, unlike most countries, your personal obstetrician is typically the one who delivers the baby (as opposed whatever OB is on duty in the hospital). In our case this worked out poorly, as Lukas was a very large baby and my doctor could (and should) have been much better informed on matters of stitching-up.

Onto The Netherlands, where the majority of women try to give birth at home (but many end up being rushed to the hospital). And Dutch women are tough as nails. I'm talking the female equivalent of Ghandi walking on hot stones. Insanely tough. And the midwives call the shots. Want an epidural, but your designated hospital midwife at doesn't think you need one? Chances are you won't be getting one, then. Hospital stays are kept to a minimum, with many women returning home on the day of the birth. On the upside, you have "Kramtijd" and "Kramverzorg" for the week following the birth, which means strict nurse-like helpers will be at your home, cooking and child minding, and even doing your grocery shopping and dog walking for the week following the birth. And some strange organization comes to your house a couple times to make sure you're not abusing or neglecting your newly born child. They'll check the sleeping conditions and other miscellaneous areas of the house for any red flags.

In Germany, they prefer to keep you for a few days after the birth. And - in typical German nature - risk is kept to a bare minimum. For those needing to be induced (our case with all three births), this translates into multi-day-long labors, beginning with the lowest amount of medication (known in the U.S. as pitocin or oxytocin), with incremental increases every 6-8 hours. We asked for double the dosage at the beginning, which resulted in our labor being (only) 9 hours. The Epidural / PDA was an epic failure, with a doctor-in-training practicing (poorly) on my spine for 10 minutes, followed by the lead doctor, who also failed to get the needle into the appropriate spot in my spinal column. They would have gladly kept going, but after 20 minutes I decided I'd rather do the birth naturally or with some other method of pain relief than risk a rare and unpleasant spinal column / nerve injury resulting from two seemingly clueless anesthesiologists. Shortly thereafter I

received something to calm my nerves in the IV drip, but it quickly faded away, and when I asked for more when the time came to press, the terrible truth was revealed. Pain medication is not usually administered around the time of the actual pushing, for fear that the woman will not feel when and how she needs to push. Sorry, but WTF?!? So the reality is, if you're having a non-cesarian birth in Germany, and you do not get an epidural, you will probably enounter excruciating, blood-curdling pain. Glückwunsch (Congrats!). ;)

With our first and second child, we immediately got an email out to friends and family to announce the birth. And then came number three... And a breast infection with fever and chills... And flooding in the basement... And two little boys with tonsilitis. And Lukas trying to light a fire in the garden. And Alex burning a hole in the floor of his bedroom (with a halogen reading lamp). The list goes on and on.   

So friends, family, and fans of our blog, consider this a very belated birth announcement of sorts. I hope you enjoyed my little segment on the joys of giving birth abroad. My experience has been - no mater where in the world you are - it is the most terrifying and wonderful day of your life all at once. But it's our nature to forget the bad and remember the good. And how could you not, when you find yourself holding an intricate little masterpiece in your arms? And nothing else matters...

This announcement customized with Smilebox

On Turning 3, Anticipating a Sister, and Adoring His "Lu-Thas"!

Alexander. Our strong-willed, surprisingly witty, increasingly talkative, bilingual "baby" just turned three yesterday. The birthday party involved a ladybug Piñata created by a friend, a breakfast cake (made at midnight) by Papa, a chocolate cake baked by Oma, a cake ordered from the local bakery with Alex's picture on it (mine), a walk to feed some local deer (with Oma, while Opa helped build the new swingset in the garden), and a party with neighborhood friends and their children. Despite my being in the 38th week of this pregnancy, the party turned out halfway decent, and the kids had a blast.

If you ask Alexander, he'll insist that he's five (like his older brother) but we're pretty sure we're right on this one. And now that the "terrible twos" have passed, can someone please tell me why he woke up last night, angry that he couldn't see his balloon, and insisting that he be brought downstairs for a glass of water? Yes, he can communicate now, but his current demands are so absurd; so unlike those of his older brother.

Fortunately, one member of the family has a will that rivals Alex's... namely, his Mom. So yes, he most certainly will end up eating the red bell pepper on his dinner plate (last night's scene... we used a bit of honey), he will not throw all of the couch cushions onto the floor, and there will be no snatching anything he pleases from his older brother. There are some things that are a no-go. Alexander has a personality where, if not kept in check, will prompt him to walk all over anyone in his path. On a positive note, this very same will has him so determined to wear big-boy underwear that he was fully potty trained (for both the day- and nighttime - as of July) and "accident"-free within a few short weeks. We also suspect that he'll be riding a bicycle without training wheels 1-2 years earlier than Lukas.

In short, Alexander's sheer determination is both inspiring and exhausting.

When they're not fighting, our boys are giggling and chasing eachother around the house or garden. I love watching Lukas interract with his little brother. "Oh, you want me to push you on the swing? Okay!" And we've just reached a major milestone in sibling conflict resolution. Thanks to a bit of motherly advice, Alexander now understands that asking politely is far more effective than snatching and screaming. And Lukas realizes that if he provides Alexander with a logical answer (i.e. "Yes, you can have Buzz Lightyear in just a minute."), there's a good chance that he might ward off attacks from his little annoying brother. I feel like a U.N. Peacekeeper who's just completed a successful negotiation between two hostile nations. :)

In other news, for the past week they've been sleeping in their own beds... which is HUGE! When I tell most of our friends and acquaintances this, they tend to ask in all seriousness, "Well, where else would they have been sleeping?" Ummmm... in our bed? Fortunately (or unfortunately) for us, we have a king-size bed, but with the baby coming I was on a mission to get them used to their own beds. Lying horizontal in bed with your legs across your baby sister is never a good thing. So they now have a new bunk bed, complete with slide, and the walls of their (shared) room are lined with wallpaper and a border with a sea explorer / pirate theme. It's now a super fun place for them to play... and sleep!

Of course, I also have to mention that Alexander has recently taken to saying some things that are just adorable. Always fascinated with "buggies" (of every shape and size), he's forever "rescuing" (and often killing them as a result), saying, "Go back to your Mommy!" And when we ask him if he needs help with something challenging, his response is innevitably "Nein, ich schaff das!" ("No, I can do this!"). Meanwhile the standard things (i.e. using the toilet, unbuckling his seat belt, or simply getting out of bed) are accompanied by "I need help!" Maybe this is to be expected. Afterall, he knows his baby sister will be arriving soon, and is so fascinated by the two baby girls in the neighborhood that he'll spend 5 minutes at their side, just studying them, and bringing them various toys to hold.

And what about Lukas? Well, as always, he speaks super well for his age and continues to love languages, singing fun "volkslieder" (folk music - in local dialect!) this summer at a local town festival... in his Lederhosen (traditional German leather pants)! He's also an avid story teller, and his enthusiasm is obvious in the huge breaths that he takes before each sentence. Maybe this is typical of a 5 year old?

Well, with baby #3 arriving any day now, I just wanted to sum up what the boys were up to developmentally, and how proud we are of everything that they've accomplished! Let's hope they're as smitten with this baby girl as we're bound to be!

Goodbye Vacation - Hello Normalcy!

I've always found the transition from a long vacation to normal, everyday life to be a difficult one, and then we added kids to the equation. So you can bet that as our five-week vacation in the States recently neared its end, I gave much thought to how the boys would adjust to a life without daily trips to beaches, pools, theme parks, and restaurants.

Fortunately, the answer is surprisingly well! Though they certainly seemed to enjoy themseleves whilst on the road in Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, Vermont, New York State, and New Hampshire, 2-year-old Alexander's strong little personality did not fare well being in a new place every 2-3 days, surrounded by new faces.

Now that we're home, his strong will has proved to be a wonderful trait at last. Afterall, when Alexander puts his mind to something, he locks on like a pit bull, letting go only when it's been completed or accomplished. Which explains why, for a week now, he's been diaper free (during the day) and using the potty on his own accord!

In other news, it appears as though Alex has begun managing the people around him at the wee age of two. A month of having to speak only one language did wonders for his ability to express himself, and he loves dishing out orders now that he can talk. While on a walk a couple days ago, Alex reacted to his brother running up ahead, shouting "Lukas stop!", "Lukas GO!", and "Mama, walk!"

Less than a week after we arrived back home, Alex underwent an adnoid operation, where his adnoids were removed and tubes were placed in his ears. This meant a week without the trampoline, Kindergarten, running, and other normal toddler behavior.

Of course, this didn't stop he and his brother from having an adorable dance party in the living room, and even seemed to fuel his imagination, prompting him to experiment with make-believe play, asking things like "Crocodile bite me here?", followed by a giggle.

As for Lukas, I've carried him to bed a couple times recently (since he often falls asleep in ours), and have wondered "When will he be too heavy, and when will it be the last time I carry him before he's 'all grown up'?". Now that he's mastered swimming (to a certain extent), Lukas' biggest milestone has been learning how to ride his bike. This explains why he stared at me in deibelief when I swerved on my bicycle after nearly dropping the kids' lunch bags. Seeing this prompted the question, "Mama, did you forget how to ride a bike?", which made me smile.

Other sweet moments that I'd like to remember include Lukas reading to Alex, me walking around our (big) block with Alexander and Felix - and Alex walking the whole way (not asking to be carried once) - with him removing the dogs leash occasionally, as he saw fit (I seemed to be tagging along for fun's sake!), and the new weekend -- better known as "Papa do it!" time. I better not even think of helping him eat his meal, buckle up in the car, or get dressed. If Papa's home, he's the parent of choice. :)

As for the pregnancy and my ever-growing belly, the boys are excited about the fact that they'll soon have a little sister. Alexander giggles when he feels the baby kick in my belly and wonders if he has a baby in his belly, too. So, so cute. Soon it will be time for a photo shoot with the boys and my disproportionately large tummy, which I dare say will be the last of its kind for our family. But most of all, we're all looking forward to meeting the little girl who's turning and twisting and kicking inside me. August can't come fast enough, and yet we sure are enjoying these last couple months with the boys and the boys alone! :)

The Everyday Moments That Take Your Breath Away

One of my favorite quotes, by an unknown author, is "Life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away." Though I've always loved it, it took on a very special meaning for me yesterday, during a spontaneous dance with my 2-year-old.

Lukas was at a birthday party, leaving Alex with plenty of Mommy-and-me-time. On the satellite radio, the song "Mr. Bojangles" (the fabulous Robbie Williams rendition, seen here on youtube) began to play. I scooped Alex up, telling him how much I liked the song, and began to dance with him. As we twirled around, he tossed his head back and laughed a gorgeous laugh, prompting tears of joys to well up in my eyes.

I began to think of life as a series of snapshots, ones that we might not be able to physically take with a camera, and that might well fade with time, but snapshots nonetheless. I wondered what other moments that day fit this description - the way the boys began to tickle eachother when they woke up in the morning, blowing on eachother's bellies - the way Alexander greeted the dog when he woke up, as if to say good morning to an old friend - Lukas running into his kindergarten, anxious to go inside, his little brother trailing in his footsteps.

Yes, you could make a photo album of just a single day, and it would be a meaningful one.

Instead, we have to commit all of these special moments to memory, wishing that they'd stay forever, but knowing all too well that they'll one day be replaced with knew experiences and mental snapshots.

And how about the spontaneous sound bites? I'd commit to memory Lukas telling his self-conscious (and increasingly pregnant) Mom, "No Mama, don't change your shirt. That looks pretty!" Or just the way Alex says "LuTHas". And then there's Alex learning to count, Alex learning the Alphabet song, and so much more. I guess we need to be doing more videos!!!

Perhaps what makes me saddest of all is the fact that Alexander, like his brother, is growing up quickly. Soon, there will be a new baby in our family, and Alexander will be the big brother. In a lot of ways, I suppose we've wanted that sweet little guy to stay the baby (which explains why he's still not potty trained). But he certainly is determined to grow up, and the amount of times that we can twirl around with him in our arms - giggling - are indeed numbered.

As I write, Alex has decided to join me in the living room (first thing in the morning), PJs and sunglasses on. Yet another snapshot. Just what memories will we capture today?

May today bring you many moments, or mental snapshots, that take your breath away.

Boys Will Be Boys and Mothers Will Be Mothers?

Boys. They get bloody a lot. There are bloody knees, bloody lips, bloody elbows, and bloody hands. In the first 2 years of being a mother to boys I tended to overreact. From my response, they picked up on concern and fear, and naturally mirrored those emotions. Now in my fifth year of being a mother to boys, I usually act as though nothing has happened for the first few seconds. Next I look for some cool water and, after rinsing the wound, evlauate how serious it is -- all the while acting as though it's nothing more than a bump or a scratch. Once I know how serious it is I try to soothe them and ease the pain in some way. Surely this plan will fail at some point, should one of our boys ever get a serious head injury or break a limb... but I am proud of the progress I've made thusfar.

My tactics came in handy when Lukas ran into the bathroom this past Tuesday, saying loudly, "Mama, PLEASE! You have to help Alex. He's my brother and he's HURT!" How cute that Lukas (pictured here holding his brother back during a Karneval parade) is now the protective older brother, just as I was the protective older sister. My heart melted in that moment. He truly is a "Goldstück" (not to be onfused with the sarcastic use of the word, which actually means "he's a handful")!

With Alex, though we've taken to using the expression more sarcastically, he really is a treasure - just not an obvious one. Like that show where people bring their old stuff in to be evaluated, often walking away with the realization that their "stuff" is worth a fortune, Alexander too, is a treasure in disguise. Why? He loves to bring his brother joy - be it in the form of chocolate, a glass of water, or a hug and a kiss. He laughs marvelously from deep in his belly, and is especially tickled by his latest discovery -- the whoopie cushion. He loves the harmonica and seems to play it well, as we discovered last night before bed. He dances wonderfully silly and adores music of any kind, just as long as it's loud.

So they're still both sneaking into our beds on most nights. So what? Soon enough they'll be doing sleepovers with friends and insisting on sleeping in their own beds, and we'll wonder where the time has gone.

Of course, we will have to free up some space in our bed by the end of August. And whether baby 3 can compete with these two incredible little boys remains a mystery (at least for another 5 months). How will Alex respond to the challenge? Will he be jealous, or will he adore being a "big" brother, like Lukas? Only time will tell, but until then we'll savor (nearly) every moment we have with our "Goldstücke", trying to write more about their milestones, developments, and adventures, as they come. 

Where, Oh Where Did January Go?

The month of January marked the beginning of Lukas' 6th year, meaning he's now - and this is hard to write - FIVE!!! Where has the time gone? Where's the baby who flat-out-refused to take any form of bottle - who hated car rides - who smiled nonstop and insisted that someone lay down with him in order for him to go to sleep? (Okay, these last two are still pretty prevalent, which we love).

As usual, the lucky duck had several parties -- one in Kindergarten featuring a pirate-ship cake (made by Tobi and I the night before), one at home with family featuring self-made sushi (his choice for dinner!), and one at the Tucherland kids paradise (in Nuremberg) with friends.

He's definitely growing up quickly, quite literally, at a whopping 112 cm, or 3' 8". Within the past half year of his regularly attending Kindergarten, his mastery of German has overtaken his once perfect english. And he's a lovey, sensitive boy. We adore that about him. When I tell him that what he's said may have hurt someone's feelings, he really takes it to heart. He loves to help his little "baby" brother whenever he can. He hugs and he kisses a ton, especially at the dinner table  in an effort to avoid eating his meal. And he is (still) a big cuddler at bedtime. 

Alex, is the opposite. While he can be cuddly, at heart he's a little firecracker. He needs sparks. While older brother Lukas hates anything loud, Alexander is capable of making an insane amount of noise. And while Lukas loves TV (which we have to limit to 1 hour a day), Alex can't sit still for more than 10 minutes. Yin and yang. When they're not provoking eachother, they create the perfect balance in our little family. Which is, incidentally, about to get larger...

Now in the 12th week of my third pregnancy, I told Lukas a few days ago that I had a baby growing in my belly. Since we were on our way to visit my in-laws, I asked that he let me tell them. Only my mother-in-law was home, and while she handled the news quite well (having three children in Germany is considered by some to be a sure sign of insanity), I wasn't quite sure how I would relay the message to my father-in-law. Lukas solved the problem by running up to greet him when he arrived, and blurting out, "Mama hat ein neue Baby in Ihr Bauch!" (Or "Mama has a new baby in her belly!"). Kids. :)

The new baby will be here at the end of August, meaning this Christmas will be an exciting one for a number of reasons (three, to be exact)! Prior to August we have a room upstairs to get in order, tons of boxes downstairs to sort through, a insanely full garage to organize, and a new (and very fun!) bunk bed set that we want to buy and put together. In the meantime, Tobi is working to finish his masters degree in the evenings and on weekends, and I'm planning a big trip to the U.S. for the April/May timeframe. Never a dull moment!

In our latest adventures, the kids and I just returned from a weekend in The Netherlands. Yes, it's 650 kilometers, and yes, it takes us an average of 7 hours to get there, but it was so worth it! Since we don't do the trip often now, I was afraid it was going to be a terrible commute. It wasn't! Other than Lukas now asking "Are we there yet?" every 20-30 minutes, they were the perfect little travelers (though I was admittedly armed with Ipods, snacks, drinks, and Dutch childrens' music). We were there from Friday evening to Monday morning, and the kids felt right at home. Other than Lukas' unfortunate loss of the Dutch language, it was as if we had never left. It was very cute to see them connect with their self-adopted Dutch Oma and Opa, their old friends, the farmhouse that we once called home (along with the pot-bellied pig, chickens, and horses), and tiny village of Oudelande.  

So now your caught up on our little "wandering family". We're still wandering, but just a little bit less, which means that the children have friends, relationships, and commitments. They're learning to swim (Lukas just completed two laps in the pool without any help last month!), ride bicycles & scooters, and do (simple) gymnastics. I think we're close to discovering our perfect balance. But hey, if you have the time, I'd sure love to hear about yours!    

Safe & Happy Travels,
~Liz

I'm Tucking You In -- For the Last Time This Year!

New Year's Eve has always been a bit special for Tobi and I. With the kids sleeping soundly in their (correction, our) bed, I have time to reflect on our many celebrations - in various corners of the world.

Thinking back, there was our first New Year's together, which we spent at the Berlin Philharmonic back in 1999, the dramatic fireworks display in the Rocky Mountains during our honeymoon trip to Ouray (Colorado), an odd "Silvester" Celebration - at a spa in Bad Griesbach - on the heels of a traumatic Christmas-time miscarriage, and a New Year's in Sydney -- overlooking the stunning Sydney Harbor. And then came the children. Though we've modified our New Year's celebrations a bit, we still try to make a bit of an event out of it. From enjoying a traditional "braai" and watching fireworks go up over the Seal Island in South Africa's Mossel Bay, to celebrating with friends in nearby Heroldsberg, and partying Dutch-style in the tiny Zeelandic town of Oudelande, it just seems to keep getting better.

Tonight we kept it simple for the first time in ages. We celebrated with my sister, eating traditional German New Year's "Raclette" (okay, it's actually Swiss, but the Germans have adopted it as their own), then headed out into the street to set off our own fireworks. Some neighborhood friends came by with their kids and while Lukas covered his ears for the first few explosions, Alexander laughed loudly like an evil scientist plotting to take over the world. :) Truth be told, he's been doing that hearty laugh now for a few days and we just can't get enough of it.

And since we're on the topic of Alex, it's worth mentioning that - lately - he's been dead-set on two of everything. Two chocolates, two donuts, two drinks at breakfast time. Why? He gets great pleasure in being able to present his big brother with something he knows Lukas will like. How cute is that?

After the fireworks we let the boys play a bit, then brought the little guys to bed. By this point, Lukas was slightly hysterical, and Tobi leaned over and told him that there was one last thing that had to be taken care of... and it was kisses on the belly for the last time this year! So cute. Then I did it to Alex, and Alex insisted on blowing loudly on my tummy before he went to sleep.

As I sit here in my PJs, catching up on blog entries and enjoying chocolate ice cream from a local farm, I don't miss the glamo
rous New Year's celebrations of yore. Life is good, and we have much to be thankful for in 2010. What surprises will 2011 hold?

But wait, I can already reveal the first surprise! It was a neighborhood block party at the strike of midnight, where we had the rare opportunity to talk with neighbors in the snow, our champagne bottles chilling in the snow banks at our sides. Germans love their fireworks and they set them off with zeal at year's end, and what a show can be, even in the smallest of villages.

So this spontaneous New Year's adventure ended on an unexpectedly fun note. Sometimes not planning is the key to having a memorable journey... near or far. Happy 2011 to you and yours!

~Liz

Please stop growing up, baby!

Lukas will be five next month, and it is obvious in more ways than one. This past week, he began doing "big boy" things, without so much as an afterthought (as if he's been capable all along, and just realized it). And, though I'm undoubtedly proud, in some strange way it is breaking my heart.

Here's how the week unfolded.

- The apple incident
The other day as I was sitting on the couch, Lukas brought over this finished "apple". He had drawn it, colored it, and cut it out without any help whatsoever. As I praised him, tears began to stream down my face, which made him laugh (somewhat uncomfortably). Tobi's comment? "Man muss nicht alles in diese Welt verstehen." (We can't understand everything in this world... i.e. why someone would start crying when presented with a picture of an apple). Lukas certainly isn't a toddler anymore. He's a (very capable) little boy!

- The walk to school
On Tuesday Alexander and I were both sick, and - not wanting to expose Alexander to the cold - I called a friend (who also walks her daughter to Kindergarten), and asked her if she could watch for Lukas, then walk him the rest of the way to school. As soon as Lukas heard me on the phone, he jumped up, ran upstairs, and dressed himself, excited about this new adventure. He did a fabulous job walking himself (part of the way) to school, and - this time - I was able to reign in the emotions.

- Sounding out, then writing "Alex" (without any help!)
Lukas has been able to write his own name now for about a week (without any help), but I couldn't believe my eyes when - one night at the dinner table - I looked over and saw the letters "A-L-E" already written on paper, at which point he began mouthing the letter "X", then writing it without any real hesitation. I feigned frustration, saying, "This is ridiculous!" and Lukas just laughed and laughed, so proud of what he had accomplished.


- When at first you don't succeed...
For months Lukas has been determined to whistle, and Tobi's mother told him that it would probably be years until he finally could. But that tenacious little man never gave up. Every day he practiced blowing air, and then on Thursday evening, he proudly announced that he really could whistle! In Lukas' case it was a matter of weeks, not years. Why does that come as no surprise? 

In the meantime, it's becoming equally obvious that Alexander is not a baby anymore. Here's why:
-He has to do EVERYTHING himself "Alex do IT!"
-He loves to sing, and some of words in the songs are starting to become discernible
-He can throw and kick a ball like some children triple his age (possibly even better than Lukas).

Though Alexander is crazy about his brother and loves for him to hold his hand as he walks down the stairs or give him a kiss when they say goodbye at school, it's also obvious that he needs his one-on-one time with Mama and Papa. When he doesn't get it, Alexander can be a real handful, and when he does, he's the easiest toddler on the planet. At least we've figured out the formula. :) Now if only we could find the secret variable that keeps babies from growing up...

No Baby, Don't You Sing!!!

Mommies cry. The simplest thing can get us started. A perfect example?
At naptime today, as I sang Alexander "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star", he sang the first few words with, adding proudly, "Alexander sing it!" And oh how he loves my reaction when he sings. The smile on my face, the tears in my eyes... he soaks it all up. But as his vocabulary increases exponentially and he soaks up the words of multiple languages like a little sponge, I find myself dreading the day that he'll speak as perfectly as his big brother. Every day marks a change in his language skills. What was once "Du-das" is now sounding more and more like "Lukas". I believe the South Africans say it best with the word, "Shame!". Our equivalent? Too bad. And it really is.

I - we - should probably be proud. Our baby's growing up. With the first one, nothing could happen fast enough. The first words, the first steps, the potty training. Now I find myself longing for him to stay a baby for as long as possible. So Alexander, if you find yourself reading this someday in the distant future, you now know why I had you in diapers until you were 8. :)

Love,
Your "Bobby"

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About a German "Kindergarten" (In the Country)

(I don't usually like to post identical postings on our travel and family blogs, but I felt that this one was worth sharing on both!)

Kids really are like silly putty (remember that stuff? Does it still exist?). They adapt so darned quickly to any given environment.

 

In the Netherlands our little ones spoke Dutch and proudly wore their little wooden clogs (on occasion). In Dubai, they inquired about certain words in Arabic, the tiny carpets seen in certain corners of some shopping centers, and the practice of praying to mecca. But here in Germany, they're adapting SO quickly, that I find myself learning from then, singing songs like, "Was müssen das für Bäume sein, wo - die - GROße Elefanten spazieren gehen, ohne sich zu Stooooßen" (or in English, "What kind of trees must they be, where the BIII-IIIG elephants go wa-al-king, without bumping intoooo eachother"... sure sounds cuter in German!).

 

Alex loves to sing Lukas' songs, but doesn't know all the words. This morning he sang his version of Lukas' Elefant song, "La-la-la-la la-la-la-la? la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la la-la-la-la, la-la-la ZU STOSSEN!" And yesterday Alexander (whose language seems to be coming a bit slower than his older brother's at that age), sang another song, emphasizing the word "wunderschön" -- a fairly long word to hear coming out of a two year old's mouth.

 

And I'm finally happy with our Kindergarten (kindly translated by Lukas just a few weeks back into "Children's Garden" for his American Granny's sake), which is huge! A half year ago, I was worried about the quality of learning provided to the children here in our tiny village (which I thought was virtually non-existent). Meanwhile, Lukas has begun coloring inside of the lines (or at least attempting to), singing new songs ever week (which he really retains, and loves to share with us!), and will occasionally even correct my German.

 

Plus, the "field trips" are great. Seriously! What fun it is to be a kid in this village, with things like:

• A couple weeks back we went to the other side of the village for a huge potato fire. This was done on a field where most of the potatoes had already been harvested. The kids were instructed to pick up the remaining potatoes, throw them in a bonfire, wait for the fire to go out (while waiting they sang a few songs), and let the potatoes cool, with the big payoff being the lunch-time potato feast.  
• Then there was the Thanksgiving outing to the Catholic church. The kids trecked through the town (a 5 minute walk) to the Catholic church. Once inside they inspected the cute little Thanksgiving displays (a "rainbow" of fresh vegetables placed at the altar... which brought to mind pre-Christian and Eastern religions involving sacrifice), talked about how important God was to the harvests (ehem, no seperation of church and state here - I imagine this is slightly awkward for the two-or-so muslim children in the Kindergarten), and sang a song about God and the harvest. Back at school they took the little baskets full of fresh fruits and veggies (prepared lovingly by Mama & Papa - preferrably with fruits and veggies from one's own garden) and played games, danced, and sang for the remainder of the morning. Still not impressed? They took turns chopping the veggies the following day (even the toddlers!), making a delicious soup for all to enjoy. The kids were delighted with themselves!
• And, most recently, they headed from the Kindergarten down to the end of our street, where they got to learn all about horses. Our neighbor, the horse owner, explained the nuances of horse body-language, what they eat, what they pooh, and how they age. Of course, all of this was followed by songs and horse-play (literally, they role-played horses!) in the fields behind the horses.

So, needless to say, it's quite alright. Okay, it's more than alright! This winter they'll be participating in a St. Martin lamp procession, going sledding, and more. And in the meantime, I've been nominated to the Parent's Board (or "Elternbeirat"). I didn't write my name on the list (thinking I may just watch and focus on getting adjusted this year), but I ended up getting the most votes (what a surprise, the foreigner with the imperfect German!), and am more than happy to help out.

 

And as for learning, well, I asked Lukas to color on the inside pages of a couple photo albums that we recently created. Surprised at how well he suddenly seemed to be coloring, I complimented him. His response was in German, and he said something to the effect of, "Ja Mama, ich strenge mich jetzt an beim malen! Vorher habe ich mich halt nicht angestrengt, aber jetzt weiss ich dass ich mich ein bisschen anstrengen müß!" -- Rough translation: "Wellll Mom, I'm concentrating now! Before I didn't, but now I know that I have to apply myself!" How cute is that?!?

 

I'm just so proud of them, and I know that Tobi must feel the same. There are still plenty of fights throughout the day, but they're also so affectionate towards one another. There's always a kiss and a hug involved if one of them has to go somewhere. And, last night, Lukas smothered his little brother with kisses at bathtime (which is significant when you consider that this is the time of day when they usually end up inciting eachother to splash, fight, hit, and cry). Alexander's reaction? He feigned disgust, "trying" wildly to keep Lukas at arms' length, his sternest face giving way to laughter.

 

Yes, being in one place and finally having Papa back really seems to be helping the kids. There's more one-on-one parent time for each child, and they finally know what to expect each day. Life has become predictable for our little nomads. Staying put may be challenging for Mama, but if it's good for them, I'll find a way to make it work for me. Because, at the end of each day I have the same recurring thought, they're so worth it.

 

Letting Go of the Extraordinary

When life is at it's most challenging, it seems that time goes by dreadfully slow, and yet, once it's passed, you wonder where it went.

At least, I find that to be the case for our life over the past half year. Recently, a friend who was visiting implied that I take too much for granted. She engaged me in a game, the purpose of which was to encourage me to find pleasure in the little things... on a daily basis. It was a hard game for me, and it took me a while to catch on. She'd say something revealing about herself - something "crazy" she's done in the past, and I'd respond with something far more off the wall. But she wasn't looking for tales of getting stuck at a cattle ranch in the middle of Australia, or a horse-back safari in South Africa. It was my "Sometimes I like to decorate the table with roses from my garden." that won her praise. Finally, I had caught on. She went on to say that I should enjoy the age that the boys are at now -- that I should savor it.

Is it possible to do this as a single-parent? Now, I realize that according to some people's definition of single-parenting, I may not classify. Yes, I'm currently a stay-at-home-mom. But let me tell you.... working single-parents have time for themselves. Even if it's just that drive-time in the mornings or evenings. It's all theirs. And they have adults to interact with on a daily basis (do not underestimate that contact with the outside world)!

Let me cut to the chase. I've been a mother for four and a half years now. Up until this six-month period of Tobi being away, I always did a fantastic job enjoying the stages that the boys were at. I was always the first to admit that they grow up too darned fast. But when it all lies on you - when you're forced to be sensible and responsible around the clock - positive reinforcement morphs into reactive discipline. And for the first time in my life I've considered going to work as a means of escaping parenthood. I hate that. And I hate that I've barely written about Alexander's development for this phase of his life. I should be writing about how he takes pride in helping my "clean" things with a wet wipe, smothers those close to him with affection (including Felix), makes Lukas and Tobi hysterical by licking them on the cheek, and absolutely adores getting read to. He certainly is a charmer.

Yes, our kids will survive. They won't be scarred for life. But I can't help but wonder, what if things were different? How is my current style of parenting affecting the formation of their little personalities?

Which brings me to my next point: what I love. As children get older - their little personalities unfold before your eyes, like the wings of a butterfly as it exits its cacoon. Some of it is nurture, but much of it is inherited.

And admittedly, today was an exceptional day. Actually the past couple days have been. To begin with, I reclaimed Friday night for myself, joining a friend for a movie. Then I took a bath. And in the morning, I said "To hell with responsible. The mess can wait." I took the dog for a walk through the forest. I went for a pedicure. Then I picked the kids up from my in-laws' and spent the rest of the day splashing around with them at an indoor pool-complex. I guess, somewhere in the back of my head I was living life as if it were my last day.

Again, today we went for a long walk with the dog. That's when I noticed that our neighborhood horses (which were ordered to relocate), were back again. Temporary or not -- the kids and I were ecstatic!

It wasn't long before Alex decided to straggle behind. Far, far behind. My usual reaction would have been to stomp over to him, pick him up grumpily, and buckle him into his stroller -- willing or not. Instead, I squeezed into his stroller and took a deep breath, and the most amazing thing happened. Hundreds of wild flowers appeared in the foreground, that I hadn't noticed before. Why? Because previously I was too preoccupied with my own personal drama to notice the wildflowers, rolling hills, and distant church steeples.

How wonderful that I made a conscious decision to change my behavior. I sat there and waited for Alexander, and what a lovely few minutes it became. That stress can so easily be replaced by pleasure, based solely on my reaction to certain events, is simply incredible!

Yes, I seemed to have my "live in the moment" glasses on today. How else would I have known to cherish Lukas' remark to the dog's typical territory-marking-routine? Lukas chuckled as Felix shoveled some dirt over his "marking", adding, "What was that? A special doggy dance?!?" And the cutest part was that he seemed quite impressed with his sense of wit. As was I. :)

Best of all, Lukas picked up on my positive attitude today. He traded in his complaints for the opportunity to walk the dog like a big boy. Who'd of thought that something that simple could be such a treat?

Which, of course, brings us full-circle. My hope is that we as a family can learn to cherish the simple things. Extraordinary moments just seem to cloud our vision sometimes. Yes, we had them. But they're gone. It's time to let go and enjoy where we're at right now. Because this very moment could well become an extraordinary one, if we choose to let it.

On Terrible Twos... and Stopping Wars

We've been in Dubai (and Nepal - see blog entry here) now for almost a month and, while being here is fun, it throws us out of our routine, making it difficult to find time to write.

The good news is, we're headed back to Germany today, and while packing up I came across this note that I made at the beginning of our month here (around mid June), on something that Lukas said. It's one of those things that you want to remember forever, and here it is:

Mama, I have to stop people from working in wars. I just have to sign these [invisible] papers, then I go on a helicopter and the helicopter lowers me down with a rope to show every war guy not to put wars on... so people don't get shot. 'Cause I'm the boss and because shooting's not good.

Alex has also begun talking a lot (using 3-4 word phrases regularly like "Mama-do-it" - oh, and we loved his recent use of the word "money"!), but as far as the "terrible twos" go, it's certainly all or nothing with him. To say he's a handful is an understatement. Nevertheless, at the end of ever day, when I lie there in bed with him... no tantrum is too great for Mama-love.

And on that note, I better finish up packing for our journey back to Germany. I hope to find more time for blogging once we're there!
~Liz

I love you, Du-das!

Lukas loves Alex. Sometimes he doesn't even like to get up in the mornings if Alex hasn't hugged him yet.

And the affection seems to be contageous. Everything that Lukas does Alex absolutely MUST do, and when we pick his big brother up from school (after a mere four hours), Alex smothers him with wet kisses and super sweet hugs. It looks as if they've been apart for weeks.

In huge news, Lukas experienced his first (pop) kiss! How do I know this? Because I walked in on him kissing his little Belgian / Korean friend Julie on Tuesday. When we talked about it afterwards (how could we NOT?), I discovered that it also happened while Julie was at our place for a visit a few weeks back.

Now, I knew that this day would come, but I thought it was a few years down the line! According to Lukas, Julie "always wants to do what she wants to do [kiss], and never what he wants to do what he wants to do [play]". Now most of Lukas' good friends are girls and he has never shown any physical affection towards them, so I kind of suspect that he wasn't the one who initiated it... yet at the end of the day I guess it doesn't really matter who made the first move. But how do four-year-olds know to go into a separate room and close the door??? That's what I struggle with.

Meanwhile, little Alex is growing up faster than I can snap photos. This week he walked all the way around our (large) block with Felix and I. He's quite the little athlete! When a couple jogged by us during our walk Alex took off running, saying one of his new favorite phrases, "fast, fast!". Alexander speaks (or at least comprehends) two languages fairly fluently now, "Flugzeug!", "aufpassen", "gefährlich!", etc. Best of all, he's finally saying "Lukas", although it sounds more like "Du-das". Alex is also our little destroyer, and has now stuffed change into our car CD player, dropped a cordless phone in the bathtub (while Lukas was in it!), smeared my mascara on our South African Nguni hide carpet, threw the dog's €10 food bowl on our tiled foyer floor -- of course smashing it beyond recognition, and that's just within the past week.

Most people say that the second child tends to take more risks, and ours gets hurt - really hurt - about once a week. Last week Alex fell on the sidewalk and got a bloody lip. Today he closed the child gate improperly and went flying down a half dozen tile stairs. It seems to have just startled him, but I think I nearly went into cardiac arrest. And yet I should be used to this by now with Alexander. For him they created the saying, "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger."

If you want to see something adorable, watch both boys as they sing their new favorite song, the Celebration Mix of Keenan's "Wavin' Flag" in full World Cup form. ´Which reminds me, Lukas recently insisted while we were at the mall that we find him a "Deutschland" jersey. So cute!

Well, the kids will be getting up in a few hours, so I had better get to bed. Take care and thanks for stopping in!

~Liz

Boys, Boys, Boys

Our boys. They're growing up too darn fast. And for the past couple months of their young lives, our family life has been somewhat strained, since Tobi has had to spend the last couple months in Dubai. While we all miss him, we see him every few weeks and talk to him daily.






Alex, now quite the talker, said it all a couple days ago when he pointed to Tobi's shoes and proclaimed, "Papa shoes? Empty." Yes, Papa's shoes are empty, but we hope they won't be for long! It looks like Tobi might have a permanent position lined up for Erlangen, which means we will be one big, happy family again!

With Papa being gone, I try to distract the kids as much as possible and make sure they're having fun (read more about my sneaky tactics here). Today we went to the Nuremberg Zoo, tomorrow we'll go on a little hike and head to Oma and Opa's for lunch, and next weekend we'll spend in Zeeland (if all goes as planned).

Let's see, what else can I tell you? Erlangen's annual beer festival just ended, and the boys seem to have it in their blood ("Papa, can we go to the Beer Festival today?"). You can read my blog posting about the Erlangen Bergkirchweih here.


And what about me? Well, I'm doing my best to "hold down the fort". In some ways, caring for the kids on my own has come easier than I expected and has helped me to grow as a mother, but man am I tired by the time I get both boys in bed. In addition to parenting I'm trying to find some time for my writing, which - needless to say - has not been easy. I'm patient though.

A big milestone for Alex has been school. His first school (or "Kindergarten") picture was taken a couple weeks ago (which I think you'll agree is very cute!), but we've decided to keep him out of the Kindergarten (or "Krabbelgroupe" / pre-school) until the Fall. The Mama-boy that he is, he cried every time we dropped him off and we gave it eight tries. And, since he's not even two yet, we're okay just waiting a few more months before attempting it again.

On the home front, our garden is coming along nicely, and the boys love their new trampoline. Also noteworthy: Lukas likes to take care of "business" (small AND big) in the garden, which is somewhat of an uphill battle (oh the joys of having boys!), Alex finds new way to harass our poor dog every day, Lukas and I are busy planning his first lemonade stand.

Him: Mama, I want to make a lemonade stand.

Me: But you need a cause, honey. Something that will make the people want to buy your lemonade.

Him: Okay, then I'll use it to help all those whales stuck in the oil in America.

.

Of course we're all fighting colds (and Alex is on antibiotics again for ear infections - sigh). No big surprises there, but we are looking forward to a nice healthy summer.

.

And how cute is this? The boys' new favorite song is the tune from the FIFA World Cup, "Waving a Flag" by K'naan (click here for see the video on youtube). "Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, Oh-oooooh, Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!" It certainly is fun to hear them both singing the melody, and the upcoming World Cup is definitely putting soccer on the radar for little Lukas.

In a couple weeks we'll head back to Dubai for what I hope will be our last trip over there this year. If all goes well, any future visits will be for vacation only, and not to visit Papa! Though it will be unimaginably hot, we'll try to enjoy the beaches, pools, and malls for a couple more weeks, potentially taking a side trip to Oman before we return. (It sure would be nice to see more of the Middle East than just the UAE!) We'll just have to see how that trip unfolds...

Well, I had better hit the sack. Thanks for following our family's ongoing adventures, and please write in with yours, however "near" or "far"!
~Liz

Making Friends in - and with - Dubai

It's been far too long since I last wrote about our two rapidly growing cutie pies. Along the way, Lukas has taken to doing and/or wearing the opposite of whatever Mom and Dad desire, and Alex has begun to string words together in true toddler fashion.

This blog entry finds us in Dubai, our "home" for at least three weeks time. With Tobi required to come for work, we found ourselves along for (a portion of) the ride.



Here in the Middle East the boys have had much exposure to cultures that they haven't previously encountered, which I love. Just this morning Lukas made friends with Adam, a 3-and-a-half year old British boy with Egyptian roots. Then there were the men from India in a park in Deira (which I wrote about on our travel focused blog), the handsome little Arabic boys on Juneirah Beach Monday, and the flirtatious young girls at the Ritz Carlton pool just yesterday. In fact, yesterday was kind of a first for Lukas in terms of situations where he's picked on because he's such a cutie (the girls were chasing and hosing him down with water)... which was quite fun to watch.

And four-year-olds are dying to understand how the world works. Just before his afternoon nap (which he now takes only on occasion), came the following cluster of questions, "Mama, how can you catch a worm? Mama, why is a gunshot not good for you? Mama, how can you catch a frog? Mama, is there Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter? And Mama, which one is the rain?"

As for Alex, people seem mesmorized by the light skinned, light-haired baby running around in the malls and at the beach (which is strange, given the amount of Westerners in Dubai). Some have even asked to have pictures with our kids, which I obviously refused (that's just a bit weird, sorry). A couple days ago he fell clumsilly to the floor in the kitchen, which was followed by "Papa, Al-la fall down!" (meaning of course, "Alex fall down!"). That's the longest string of words Alex has used so far, so we were ecstatic.

His knowledge of German is surprisingly good, too. Just yesterday Tobi spoke to Alex in German, saying something to the effect of, "Well, you could have just brought a diaper with you.". To our amazement, Alex marched right back to those diapers, grabbed one, and brought it over to him. Clever boy!

His somewhat limited word roster includes "Love you", "eat", "bat", "swim, swim", "Oh-day" (for "Okay"), "HelpYOO", "WOW!" (usually food related), "Why?" and quite a few other words. But his vocabulary is growing exponentially by the day, and he loves singing his favorite song, Old McDonald - "Eee-Eye-Eee-Eye-Oooh!". It's such an amazing age!!!

Having said that, perhaps the most wonderful reward of all is simply watching the bond continue to grow between brothers. If we're going somewhere and they're both walking, they walk hand-in-hand. Alex prefers to hold his brother's hand over his Mama or Papa's by far, and he has such an admiration for his older brother.

[Just now, while I was writing Lukas turned to me and said, "Mom, you have to see this! Alex was just dancing and it was so cute!"]

Lastly, we've done a lot of things during our time here that I hope the boys will remember for a long time to come. Dune bashing and dinner in the desert (complete with whirling dervish and belly dancing), snow skiing on the slopes of the Mall of the Emirates (as an Easter Day treat), swimming in the crystal clear water of the Persian Gulf, camel rides, and we still have nearly two weeks to go!

Sometimes I feel like our life - with all the traveling involved - is a bit out of control, like a runaway freight train. But then I look around me and I see - and read about - wonderful worldly people whose travels as children played a major role in who they are today. Which gets me to wondering, what's more of a disservice, to travel too much with children, or to travel too little?

So how are Mama and Papa coping with all the changes? Well, Tobi's working too much and studying for a big exam (for his MBA) in his "free time" and I'm adjusting to a very short stint in the Middle East by meeting other Expat Mommies (check out the Jumeirah Beach Residence's Sandpit group on facebook - AKA "JBR Sandpit Playgroup"). When in doubt, find other people that are going what you're going through. It's incredibly comforting! [she writes, smiling] I hope to jump back into some serious pitch writing and brainstorming within the next month, but for now, I'll just continue to get myself as familiar with the UAE as I can, researching hotels, resorts, restaurants, child-friendly attractions, and Emiratie culture as a whole.

The world is brimming with incredible cultures and experiences, much like a fountain, and our children, well they're soaking up every precious bit of it like the little human sponges that they are. It's the journey of a lifetime.